Wednesday, March 18, 2009

nothings cookin' and nobody's sleepin'...

"The weatherman said its going to hit 59 degrees tomorrow. And the sun will shine. I hope he's right this time. I want - no Need - him to be right. I'm dying here and sunshine and warmth would both really help me out," I yell to husband whose in the bathroom, hoping he can hear me over the running water, teeth brushing and whatever else he's doing in there.

No response.

Water shuts off.

"Did you hear me?" i ask.

"Yeah," he said.

"OH really. What did i say?" I questioned.

"you said it might hit 59 tomorrow and you Need that. See? I heard ya."

"Did you hear the I'm dying here part?" I quizzed him.

"Huh...?" he raises his eyebrows. "Oh i guess i missed that last part, i was brushing my teeth. I heard the rest of it though."

Well, I sure wouldn't have known you heard me. You didn't say anything."

"Whats to say? You didn't ask me anything," he stated.

"You always do that! Just because I'm not asking you something doesn't mean you don't have to respond to me. It's called conversation. you go back and forth. acknowledging one anothers comments."

"So, you're disappointed, i didn't say 'uh huh' or 'oh', something like that?" he asks.

"Yes. actually, i am. that would have even been sufficient. ya know, just forget it." I turn over to read.

He snuggles up next to me, putting his arm around my side.

"Tell me the i'm dying here part... sorry i missed it but my mouth was full of toothpaste. ok?"

I sighed. We do a lot of sighing around here.

"spring will come. and with spring, maybe some relief from all this... this - crap," he assures me.

"I hope you're right," i said, curling into him, sighing and laying down my book.

Between the hormonal issues of the breastfeeding weaning process, our car's transmission going belly up when we've only owned the thing 4 months, husband being a full time student and a part time employee which means lots of homework and more stress at his work, bills and more bills, now sharing one car for a bit, never feeling like i have enough time in the day, planning a bridal shower, a tree falling in our backyard, and last but not least by ANY means - severe sleep deprivation... lets just say i've been a little stressed. in a fog. tired. stressed. did i say that already?

"I'm trying to manage... I am," i tell him. "sorry i've been... ya know, um, demanding?" wondering if thats the word, he's already nodding, not only agreeing (go figure ha) but telling me its okay.

"Sorry I haven't been cooking. But when ya don't sleep, ya don't cook i guess," and we dozed off, dreaming of a full nights rest.

Last night i didn't exactly cook but i did whip up something. And these days, it counts for cooking. I saw the posting on the Veg News site (their site that i'm addicted to btw) and made the Tuna-Less Sandwiches, less some of the veganaise (it calls for 1 cup, we used between 1/2 and 2/3 cup, which was part NaSoya which is lower cal but a little lower on flavor too, and part Veganaise, and that was plenty!) and we also added some chopped carrots to the mix for extra crunch and some additional veggie power. So easy and so yummy. I packed up one for husbands lunch and one for my own. He even liked it. A real bonus:) And the kid only woke once last night... A Red Sea Miracle if i do say so myself.

I cooked. The kid slept. Landmark events. Spring is almost here. I see some hope out there in the distant distant end of the long dark tunnel called winter.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

believe it or not...

Normally, i avoid the office debates, that often result in disagreements and fueds. I always observe, get a good laugh, occasionally even hear a good point. About global warming, i did offer up my bit, briefly. Some folks say its total BS. Just some hollywood ploy. some scam to get you to buy other stuff. the environment is fine. live your life how you wanna. The other folks said no no. its true. haven't you read the books. seen the movies. looked at the scientific data. we are on a horrid path. ETC ETC ETC. I think they thought it would get a real rise out of me considering i use my klean kanteen faithfully. use real silverware and a real coffee mug, not the disposal crap they all throw out daily. bring my lunch in reusable containers. carry everything in cloth bags. I once let it out that we don't use paper towels at home. GASP. So, on this topic, they look to me, what do you think?

All i had to say was I'm no scientist. I guess there is a chance its hogwash. But theres an even better chance its not. Either way, I don't care. And if i found out tomorrow it wasn't true, i wouldn't do anything in my life differently. Because thats not what its about for me. For me, its about taking care of what God has given me/us. I simply want to be a good steward of what I have and the place i live. I think its only common sense to be smart with our resources and to take care of our earth. I look at the FACTS. It is a fact we only have ONE earth. and i look at my FAITH. My faith tells me this earth is God given.

"So, you're saying you believe it or not?" they ask. And i thought i was really making a point there. lol.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Birthday dinner and wishes...

My original plans of a day in NYC with husband ended up axed. I clicked thru our many weather channels the week before, hoping for one to give me some hope. Hope that the weather would be lovely. Lovely and bearable for a saturday in January. I had someone to watch the kid already lined up. I could practically taste my dinner at candle 79. well at least envision it. smell it. ahhh. It would be our first outing without the kid. And though i dreaded leaving him, I was looking forward to walking the streets of NYC, going into stores without pushing a stroller or carrying his massive carrier, and eating a long slow meal without asking for the check before I had even taken my last bite.

"Do you think one will tell you something vastly different from the others?" husband asks as I go to channel 101, instead of 49. 49 was not sounding good. 101 may give me some hope.

"Maybe! I mean, not everyone reads that little doppler thingy the same. The digital read on 101 may be different than Jim Cantori on 49. He's not the expert," I say.

Husband flips open his mac saying "lets settle this right now," and goes onto at least three weather websites in a matter of 3 minutes. No more channel flipping for me.

"See? They all basically say the same thing. Ice. Snow. More in NYC than here. and a lot of wind. We can try it if you want, but I don't think its going to be enjoyable. Honestly. We should postpone or make other plans," He tells me.

"Postpone?! to when?! Michelle is busy. she can't just watch him on a whim. And i mean, its winter. There isn't really a good time to postpone TO."

"We'll go in the spring then. It will be warmer. Nicer. Lets do it then."

"But then its not my birthday. and i know there is no way you will agree to eat at a vegan restaurant, in NYC no less, unless its MY birthday. Otherwise, you'll say its unfair for me to ask you to eat vegan food because you will go hungry. So unless its MY birthday, you either A. won't do it, or B. do it and give me a lot of grief, therefore ruining my meal. The meal I really really want and - "

"I will be FINE with it. I promise," he interjects. "Really. it will be YOUR day. even if its July. we'll go eat at this hippy podunk vegan joint you're so desperate to go to and i'll eat whatever and act like i like it, ok? I promise."

"Fine. I'll hold you to it." I respond, still pouting.

"So, what do you want to do instead?" He asks.

Eye roll. "YOU are supposed to do that. plan something. for me," I whined.

"So let me get this straight. You planned a day for us to have to ourselves in NYC, kid free, for your birthday. Those plans are out. AND Now you're annoyed that i'm wanting to know what you want to do instead, because I should be planning it myself, when i didn't even plan it in the first place...? is this right?" he asks, puzzled a bit and obvoiusly trying to make a point.

"Ok Fine. You have a point," I admit. "But now that my plans are out. You take over. and make it all better."

What did we end up doing? Husband took me to Lemongrass in King of Prussia, PA. I'd been yaking about this place for ages, wanting to try it, not even real sure where it was, but husband wasn't sure if he'd like thai food and so we always ended up somewhere else when we were in that area. But - we loved it! Awesome food. Their tofu and vegetable pad thai rocked the house. and husband liked whatever crap he ordered too ha. and our little man, the kid, was along and loved the place as well. He sat in a highchair like a big kid, watched the waitress in amazement, and was a little angel the whole time. And husband knew a perfect way to finish out our evening - he took me to whole foods for vegan cupcakes and treats:)

So, did i have a good birthday? Yes. Husband did good. Another year older. Another year ahead of me to look forward to. I anticipate great things! Next birthday is 30 - yikes! But i'm excited. Me and my BFF Robin are making major 30th birthday celebration plans and I can't wait! We're not talking meeting up for a nice dinner and getting our nails done. We're talking, go on a trip, leave the kids with husbands, and poof! girls gone wild! No No - this is misleading, clearly! How about Girls Gone Away! girls gone away for a long weekend of relaxin' and good ole fun:)

"Well, did you have a good birthday hon?" he asks.

"Oh yea, it was great. And the best part? knowing you had to do it all again in July."

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Worst Foods of 2009

I eat healthy. Or so i think. Try. After reading this list, I realize that, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just don't know when you're eating out. Thankfully, majority of the stuff on this list, i wouldn't order in the first place. But YIKES. The blimpie veggie supreme is out to kill me! And an order of PF Chang's Tams Noodles is equal to 42 Krispy Kreme Glazed Doughnut Holes. Yep. Fact. And thank goodness i don't go to baskin robbins - ever. This place takes the cake, err ice cream, with the absolute worst food of 2009. So, being on a tight budget, we vowed to eat in, aka actually cook it ourselves and eat at home, much more. This list gives extra incentive since at home we control exactly what goes into our food.

Click here for the scary list!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Just Details of 2009

7 days into 2009 and i'm still mulling over my NY Resolutions, debating of what they will be and limiting myself to only 3. I usually plan my resolutions, putting thought into them days before DD, yet this year, between traveling, the kid, illnesses, and well other chaos that i forget, the resolutions didn't even cross my mind till January 1. Me, never one to rush to any decision (i'm barely able to make decisions actually! this way... maybe... no no, that way, wait, bad idea? hmmm), began to think of some 'goodies' to aim for this year. and am still thinking. maybe one should be to make firm quick decisions? some scoff at the idea of resolutions bt I view it as a chance to set a few simple goals, better myself in some way, and start things off with a fresh beginning. suggestions are welcomed. I clearly need some help!!

Cooking details of 09. NY Day I did not cook the usual greens, black eye peas, sauerkraut, and other traditional concoctions i made last year. Come to think of it, I can't even recall what we ate. I have since made two things from the vegnews website - the gingerbread cake and the holiday nog. Sadly I did not even get to sample the cake! bummer! I made it as a treat for my friend Carolyn who was dog sitting for us during our holiday travels. Her report on the cake - LOVED it. So it's on my to make list for ME. the pic of the cake on vegnews' website shows it with a yummy looking frosting (but no recipe for that, unfair!) but i just dusted it heavily with powdered sugar. i whipped up a half batch of the holiday nog this past sunday and loved the flavor. This couldn't be passed off as eggnog to some unsuspecting soul but it still a yummy healthy drink with lots of flava flave! and i was surprised by its creaminess. It sure ain't low-cal though! the scales were for sure tipping a bit heavier the next morning. Gulp! I received a new cookbook for christmas and am psyched to try a few recipes over the weekend! Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz. You can buy this from for only 13.16 - no tax and free shipping. Yahoo!

Work details of 09. She is still oh so busy. Can you imagine her busy-ness over the holidays?! Incredibly ridiculous how busy she was! So busy, that she fell ILL, not sure regularly ill but so sick she can't even explain! and is just now starting to feel human again. Imagine! and He is still ranting and inspecting. just yesterday, me having been in the door 30 seconds, he questioned me if kate ever came in last friday. i paused. trying not to answer.

finally i said, "umm... not sure".

"not sure?" he says. "how are you not sure? i left at lunch. you were here all day."

I eventually gave in, shaking my head no but stated i don't like being put in this position and questioned about coworkers.

"Oh i know i know! I mean, I don't care! Really. Why should i care! I don't! I was just curious, ya know! I mean, hey, if the boss don't care, I don't care! ya know?!"


As of Jan 20 I am being reassigned to a new team, temporarily for 18-24 months. I volunteered to work on implementation of ERP and was selected! I think its a great opportunity to advance my skills here at work and am anxious for new tasks, tiring of the same ole same ole ones I've been plugging away at here for the last 2 1/2 years. Change is good. This does mean not sitting by Him. or working with Her. Or the others that i've yet to write about here. But I can return here after the end of my temp duties if i wish. time will tell.

Family Details of 09. The kid is heavier, taller, laughs more, and grabs, err should i say Lunges!, at any/every thing he thinks he might want. He brings such pure and simple joy to me. for that i am so thankful. my 09 looks even brighter by having him. husband is still by my side. loving me in the new year and preparing to be a full time student. we've been curling up at night, catching up on Big Love Episodes on demand, after the kid is asleep, preparing for (finally!) the launch of season 3 this month! It's the only show we both like so I look forward to that time, our time, to gasp at Nikki's spiteful behavior, Margie's funny mistakes, and Bill's bare butt, which somehow works its way into every episode! ugh. enough of his ass already. he ain't hot!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

10 questions

I've been tagged to post "10 questions you've asked yourself today". At first I thought I hadn't asked myself any question really but then realize, I do this constantly, throughout my day, silently wonder things to myself. SO here goes.

1. Can you still buy those radios that you have to crank to get to work? They are from god knows when, way back is all i know - and my coworker Lenny (who happens to be around 87 or so!) uses his daily to hear the stock market report at lunch. I hear the cranking, and keep wondering - wonder if you can still buy them? ebay maybe?

2. What is my sister doing right now, at this very moment? I know she's in Russia, picking up Ashley but what exactly right now? Filling out paperwork, holding Ashley, sleeping maybe? not sure of the time difference.

3. Is there any way I can leave work early today... ? Hmmm ....

4. Will we have a white christmas? I want one of course but not a big one because we'll be traveling... but a white christmas is always a nice touch.

5. Why does a frozen pizza put on the front of the wrapper - "Made with 100% real cheese!" like its something to brag about? I threw one in the oven for husbands dinner last night and noticed this - what? So what does that mean if the label Doesn't say that? whats that white shredded up stuff on 'those' pizzas...?

6. Why do i have to call the dentist back either way? They always call to remind me of my appointment and want me to call back to confirm or cancel. It should only require a call back for canceling. And if i don't call at all - do they hold my spot? hope so!

7. Is it raining? I look out the window. I'm really wanting/needing to walk on my lunch break but am a wimp about walking in the rain, especially if its cold!

8. Why doesn't Abram sleeping thru the night anymore? While I was off for 5 months he almost always slept thru the night. But now that I'm back at work fulltime and waking up at 4:30am 4 days a week, he's decided getting up at 1am is a new little habit he's trying out... sigh.

9. Will I keep producing enough breastmilk? The kid is eating like a madman these days and even though i'm pumping 3 times a day on work days and even a couple times on the weekend, i can barely keep up with him! and he's even eating strained foods too.

10. Should I even go to the dentist tomorrow morning? Its going to be morning mix of snow/sleet... maybe i should cancel? Well then i definitely need to call them back!

I'm supposed to tag someone but nahhh, just repost your 10 questions if you wanna;)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Holiday Pictures

April shower brought us May flowers and November snow brought us 60 degree December days? Very Puzzling. But it sure wasn't 60 degrees the day Michelle and family came over to take pictures and have dinner. It was cold and windy and well, not outdoor photo weather! But Abram loves the wind (and he loved the twig michelle was waving at him ha) so he was grinning away for family photos! Michelle posted some previews on her blog and if you are lucky enough to get a christmas card from us, you'll have a hard copy. I say Lucky Enough, meaning i start them and then get lazy and stop (well not lazy but otherwise occupied?). So pray your card is on the top of the stack:) (BTW, you can also check out michelles site for more photography info! She rocks:)

But again, its 60 degrees here today so I walked during my lunch break. Felt so great to get out, exercise, and feel the warm breeze:) Plus, we got the memo we are not allowed to sleep on our lunch break at our desks. LOL. Thank god i'm not pregnant anymore.

On Whats cookin - I have two big containers of Tofu from trader joes and i'm at a lose about what to do with it. Theres always tofu scramble, add it to smoothies, blah blah - but i wanted something different. Husband had ZERO suggestions:)