Just Details of 2009

7 days into 2009 and i'm still mulling over my NY Resolutions, debating of what they will be and limiting myself to only 3. I usually plan my resolutions, putting thought into them days before DD, yet this year, between traveling, the kid, illnesses, and well other chaos that i forget, the resolutions didn't even cross my mind till January 1. Me, never one to rush to any decision (i'm barely able to make decisions actually! this way... maybe... no no, that way, wait, bad idea? hmmm), began to think of some 'goodies' to aim for this year. and am still thinking. maybe one should be to make firm quick decisions? some scoff at the idea of resolutions bt I view it as a chance to set a few simple goals, better myself in some way, and start things off with a fresh beginning. suggestions are welcomed. I clearly need some help!!

Cooking details of 09. NY Day I did not cook the usual greens, black eye peas, sauerkraut, and other traditional concoctions i made last year. Come to think of it, I can't even recall what we ate. I have since made two things from the vegnews website - the gingerbread cake and the holiday nog. Sadly I did not even get to sample the cake! bummer! I made it as a treat for my friend Carolyn who was dog sitting for us during our holiday travels. Her report on the cake - LOVED it. So it's on my to make list for ME. the pic of the cake on vegnews' website shows it with a yummy looking frosting (but no recipe for that, unfair!) but i just dusted it heavily with powdered sugar. i whipped up a half batch of the holiday nog this past sunday and loved the flavor. This couldn't be passed off as eggnog to some unsuspecting soul but it still a yummy healthy drink with lots of flava flave! and i was surprised by its creaminess. It sure ain't low-cal though! the scales were for sure tipping a bit heavier the next morning. Gulp! I received a new cookbook for christmas and am psyched to try a few recipes over the weekend! Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz. You can buy this from discountbooksale.com for only 13.16 - no tax and free shipping. Yahoo!

Work details of 09. She is still oh so busy. Can you imagine her busy-ness over the holidays?! Incredibly ridiculous how busy she was! So busy, that she fell ILL, not sure regularly ill but so sick she can't even explain! and is just now starting to feel human again. Imagine! and He is still ranting and inspecting. just yesterday, me having been in the door 30 seconds, he questioned me if kate ever came in last friday. i paused. trying not to answer.

finally i said, "umm... not sure".

"not sure?" he says. "how are you not sure? i left at lunch. you were here all day."

I eventually gave in, shaking my head no but stated i don't like being put in this position and questioned about coworkers.

"Oh i know i know! I mean, I don't care! Really. Why should i care! I don't! I was just curious, ya know! I mean, hey, if the boss don't care, I don't care! ya know?!"

Righhhttt...

As of Jan 20 I am being reassigned to a new team, temporarily for 18-24 months. I volunteered to work on implementation of ERP and was selected! I think its a great opportunity to advance my skills here at work and am anxious for new tasks, tiring of the same ole same ole ones I've been plugging away at here for the last 2 1/2 years. Change is good. This does mean not sitting by Him. or working with Her. Or the others that i've yet to write about here. But I can return here after the end of my temp duties if i wish. time will tell.

Family Details of 09. The kid is heavier, taller, laughs more, and grabs, err should i say Lunges!, at any/every thing he thinks he might want. He brings such pure and simple joy to me. for that i am so thankful. my 09 looks even brighter by having him. husband is still by my side. loving me in the new year and preparing to be a full time student. we've been curling up at night, catching up on Big Love Episodes on demand, after the kid is asleep, preparing for (finally!) the launch of season 3 this month! It's the only show we both like so I look forward to that time, our time, to gasp at Nikki's spiteful behavior, Margie's funny mistakes, and Bill's bare butt, which somehow works its way into every episode! ugh. enough of his ass already. he ain't hot!

10 questions

I've been tagged to post "10 questions you've asked yourself today". At first I thought I hadn't asked myself any question really but then realize, I do this constantly, throughout my day, silently wonder things to myself. SO here goes.

1. Can you still buy those radios that you have to crank to get to work? They are from god knows when, way back is all i know - and my coworker Lenny (who happens to be around 87 or so!) uses his daily to hear the stock market report at lunch. I hear the cranking, and keep wondering - wonder if you can still buy them? ebay maybe?

2. What is my sister doing right now, at this very moment? I know she's in Russia, picking up Ashley but what exactly right now? Filling out paperwork, holding Ashley, sleeping maybe? not sure of the time difference.

3. Is there any way I can leave work early today... ? Hmmm ....

4. Will we have a white christmas? I want one of course but not a big one because we'll be traveling... but a white christmas is always a nice touch.

5. Why does a frozen pizza put on the front of the wrapper - "Made with 100% real cheese!" like its something to brag about? I threw one in the oven for husbands dinner last night and noticed this - what? So what does that mean if the label Doesn't say that? whats that white shredded up stuff on 'those' pizzas...?

6. Why do i have to call the dentist back either way? They always call to remind me of my appointment and want me to call back to confirm or cancel. It should only require a call back for canceling. And if i don't call at all - do they hold my spot? hope so!

7. Is it raining? I look out the window. I'm really wanting/needing to walk on my lunch break but am a wimp about walking in the rain, especially if its cold!

8. Why doesn't Abram sleeping thru the night anymore? While I was off for 5 months he almost always slept thru the night. But now that I'm back at work fulltime and waking up at 4:30am 4 days a week, he's decided getting up at 1am is a new little habit he's trying out... sigh.

9. Will I keep producing enough breastmilk? The kid is eating like a madman these days and even though i'm pumping 3 times a day on work days and even a couple times on the weekend, i can barely keep up with him! and he's even eating strained foods too.

10. Should I even go to the dentist tomorrow morning? Its going to be morning mix of snow/sleet... maybe i should cancel? Well then i definitely need to call them back!

I'm supposed to tag someone but nahhh, just repost your 10 questions if you wanna;)

Holiday Pictures

April shower brought us May flowers and November snow brought us 60 degree December days? Very Puzzling. But it sure wasn't 60 degrees the day Michelle and family came over to take pictures and have dinner. It was cold and windy and well, not outdoor photo weather! But Abram loves the wind (and he loved the twig michelle was waving at him ha) so he was grinning away for family photos! Michelle posted some previews on her blog and if you are lucky enough to get a christmas card from us, you'll have a hard copy. I say Lucky Enough, meaning i start them and then get lazy and stop (well not lazy but otherwise occupied?). So pray your card is on the top of the stack:) (BTW, you can also check out michelles site for more photography info! She rocks:)

But again, its 60 degrees here today so I walked during my lunch break. Felt so great to get out, exercise, and feel the warm breeze:) Plus, we got the memo we are not allowed to sleep on our lunch break at our desks. LOL. Thank god i'm not pregnant anymore.

On Whats cookin - I have two big containers of Tofu from trader joes and i'm at a lose about what to do with it. Theres always tofu scramble, add it to smoothies, blah blah - but i wanted something different. Husband had ZERO suggestions:)

Busy

"How was your weekend?"

"OH SO busy! I am so tired! Whew!" She says this to me every monday usually. The coworker who loves to go on and on about how 'busy' she always is, with practically no time to breathe. She will ramble on telling me all the 'busy-ness' and how stressful it is to be that busy and wow, she wishes she weren't so busy.

"Well, stop doing so much," I suggest one day, after enduring yet another countless story about the 'busy-ness'. This seemed like a very simple resolution to me. You are busy and find it stressful. Therefore reduce stress by eleminating all the extra 'stuff'. Its how i operate. So i only assume others would do the same. I take much time to breathe on the weekends. Gather myself. Lay in bed a little longer. Snuggle next to my husband a bit more. Cuddle with my kid. Pet the dogs a little more. and get outdoors. Relax. It is so easy to get caught up in the busy mode of life. We vowed to not do so, no matter what life throws us.

"Pft. Oh, I can only wish!" She states.

"Well... I mean does your son really want to be involved in 3 sport activities at the same time? Does he really enjoy all of them? Plus the music lessons?" I ask.

"OH He loves it. He does! Icouldn't possibly make him choose!"

I considered asking why not. But instead offered a puzzled look, and returned to my work.

Theres her, whom I dearly love but enough with the 'busy' stories. And then there is him. I avoid him. He rambles endlessly to himself about work and other nonsense all day long. He tracks other workers as if he were in charge.

"I can't believe Shea isn't in yet..." He fumes to me, as if he were in charge of Shea.

"Oh. Hm." I refrain from saying more.

"This is ridiculous! He didn't call off so who knows when he'll waltz in here! He comes in later and later... but what are ya gonna do!?" His face getting redder.

I merely nod.

Him. Tracking other coworkers hours. Fuming about work before the day barely begins. When asked a question he yells "Who wants to know?!!!", "WHY?" or he rambles loudly about something ridiculous and then eventually answers after a couple minutes. He has no sense of humor, usually getting pissed at jokes because he thinks its seroius. Him who sits by me. Lovely.

At one point maybe i was a little too obvious in my dislike of him. I know he sensed it. Mean of me, well not mean. But not exactly nice. So while I was pregnant, he began bringing me a water from the store next door.

"Let me pay you for that," I say to him on day 4 of water.

"No no. Its no big deal," he refused.

"I'm okay. Really. You don't have to buy me water. Honest. But thank you. Really. Thank you." I stuttered.

He kept buying the water. Every. Single. Day. I would bring water from home. Yet he still came back from his daily trip to the store at lunch, water bottle in hand. I began to feel uncomfortable with this. I went through a series of thoughts until I went out on maternity leave. I offered to pay him again. He refused. Do I owe him a case of water now? Is it enough to just say Thank you? I wish he would let me pay him. Maybe I should bring him cookies? Will I return from maternity leave, unable to even see my desk because its covered in water bottles?

Maybe he was just trying to win me over. I'm not sure but whatever it was, it worked. I like him now. He's still annoying. But i like him.

My coworkers. Love them and all the entertainment they give, and dinnertime stories i'm able to then tell husband. Sometimes i really do feel like i'm working at "The Office" or am caught up in a Seinfield Episode.

This week, I've been lovingly nominated to the decoration committee... and the competition is getting heated. Judging is today at 10:30. Back to the task at hand.

PS - after desperately needing a quick healthy breakfast to toss in my bag for work, I made the full meal muffins from the vegan lunchbox blogger. So easy, healthy, and a perfect breakfast for me. Husband liked them but asked me to add about a cup of sugar lol. Clearly, he prefers the sugar-laden muffins, which these aren't. "That would UNhealthy them!" I say. He interupts me before i finish with "I KNOW I KNOW. NOT Healthy".

Wine and Chili

I loved red wine. My friend Carolyn shares this love. Husband does not. I know nothing about wine. I'm not swirling my glass, smelling, sipping, looking at the color. I just drink the stuff. Adn like it. A lot. Last night I purchased a bottle of Frey Vineyards Organic Cabernet Sauvignon. DElish!! check out their site here and try it. Not only is it organic but there its vegan, with no sulfites added. I'm so anxious to try their other wines now!


One last recipe link - The other night I made Isa's recipe for Tempeh Chili Con Frijoles from the Post Punk Kitchen site, served with a pan of fresh, homemade cornbread - yum. I loved this chili and husband liked it alright. He missed the meat, tempeh not doing the trick for him. The recipe is here

Where and What

Where have I been. What have I been doing. All good questions. As I look back since my last post, the answers are a blur of ... baby stuff, work stuff, and other stuff. All good stuff but as i said, a blur. Folks always say, time goes so quickly once you have kids. Agreed. I ponder back on these 6 months since the kid joined us on this earth... just 'yesterday' he was barely ever awake, needed constant head support, and woke often thru the night for food or just some mom-time. and 'now' he fights off naps, independently holds up his head and wants to sit up on his own, and snoozes 12 hours a night. Its all good stuff. But he needs me a little less - already. Time - going so quickly.

Where I have been? Work. Back to the reality of earning a living. paying the bills. paying for daycare. It feels good but doesn't all at the same time. The weekends - I soak up as much of the kid as i can because monday-thursday, I suffer withdrawl of him. His smell. His grin. His laugh. His baby mohawk. How he looks while sleeping. His babble sounds. Just Him:)

What have I been doing? Again work. Mom stuff. Kid stuff. Occassionally some cooking and reading. My two hobbies. Husband and I have this hobby discussion often.

"You have too many hobbies", I tell him.

"Theres no such thing as too many hobbies", He responds.

"Yes, there is. They consume too much of you, too often. And you are obsessed with all your hobbies."

"Obsessed - no. Its called interested."

"Okay, DEEPLY interested. But its a bit out of hand. First it was the bonsai trees and all the bonsais you had to buy, along with the supplies, tree food, books about them. Then Pearl Jam. Your fanclub membership. ALL their CD's. and then the CD's of all their concerts - its the SAME songs! Then the metal detector. The one you had wasn't good enough so you had to get a better one with more stuff. Rods. Coils. Then a couple websites you needed to join to talk with other detector people. OH and now its football season and the pittsburgh steeler games you can't miss. Like i said, too many hobbies!"

"You don't like that i have hobbies? Maybe you don't get it because YOu don't have any hobbies", he states.

"I don't mind that you have hobbies. There are just so many of them. And they're so time consuming. And, i DO have hobbies!"

"What are your hobbies?"

"Well..." LONG PAUSE.

"See?!? You need a hobby! Lets think of a hobby for you."

"No... I have hobbies. I like to read. I like to cook," i tell him.

"Why don't you do them? If they are your hobbies and you enjoy them... then you Do those things."

"Hello. I'm busy! Baby. Work. More Baby. More work."

"And when you aren't doing those things?"

"I'm asleep", I laugh.

So I vowed to him to spend a little more time doing my 'hobbies'. Even if that means some chores have to wait.

I finished reading "When Bad things Happen to Good People" which until page 100 i mistakenly thought was titled "WHY Bad things Happen to Good People". Somewhere around page 100, i said to self, 'this guy is nowhere close to answering his own title!' and glanced at the cover. Oh. WHEN bad things... Oh. Well. I began reading it for the WHY but, finished it anyway. Good. But not great. Now I'm reading "Peace Like A River" or am I? Does it count as actually reading if you've only read 1 page? I say it does. hopefully with the holiday weekend, i'll sneak in some reading time. And maybe buy a new book called "Moose" by Stephanie Klein.

I cooked up some new recipes lately. We're always whipping up homemade salad dressings because we eat a salad every night. Some recipes we loved, some husband hated and i just liked and others we agreed, weren't worth making again. The 'not worth making' ones i won't waste time writing about. A few of the good ones -

Chickpea Cutlets from the Veganomicon cookbook. I loved these!! Husband didn't end up trying them because of - well not sure why. Go Figure. Click here for this yummy recipe.

Hemp Omega Caesar Dressing from Kristens Raw. We both loved this dressing and agreed it was a nice change from our usual vinegarette. Recipe here

A 'recreated' Annie's Woodstock Dressing from Musings from the Shire blog. I love Annie's Woodstock Dressing in the bottle but it ain't cheap! So i attempted to recreate it with this recipe. I loved this dressing but didn't feel it was as good as the bottle, but still really good. Husband said it had too much soy sauce. So the second time i made it, i used half as much. Better. Recipe here

Red Jumble Crumble from the Urban Vegan. We both Loved this one! Its dessert so of course we did. Will definitely be making again and again. recipe here

Savory Shiitake Saute from the newly updated VegNews website. Loved how easy this was and we both really liked it. I did double the amount of mushrooms it called for and was glad i did. those shrooms shrink! Careful not to cook noodles too long - we did and it wasn't as good as if they were al dente. but for our first time using this type of noodle, we just didn't know how fast they cooked! husband even ate these leftovers a couple times for lunch. Click here for the recipe.

Mac n Cheese from VegNews again. I loved this one and husband said it was just okay. If i hadn't told him what was in it, i think he would have loved it. but he couldn't get past the fact there was one little potato in a pasta dish. I will definitely make it again though - great flavors. Recipe here

So, I dove into my hobbies as best I could considering I have a full time job, baby, two dogs, a house, chores, and well, there is the need for sleep. Husband asks where the clean works shirts are and i replied, still in the dirty clothes. He looks at me puzzled. I remind him I'm focusing more on my hobbies, less on chores, as he encouraged me to do. "Oh right", he nodds.

I plan on buying a couple new books (or getting a few for christmas!) as well as some new cookbooks that are meatless (again, christmas) so i don't have to veganize meaty recipes. Despite diving into my hobbies, the past two nights husband has eaten veggie burgers.

"I guess I'll have a veggie burger with chips again," he mumbles as he stares into the fridge, holding the door wide open.

"I didn't want to shop this weekend because we're leaving Thursday morning early," i remind him.

"Yea, but we do need to eat until Thursday."

"Theres plenty of stuff in the freezer."

He pushes past all the frozen bags of breastmilk, slowly naming off what he sees... "Frozen bananas, raspberries, apples, blackberries, a pie crust, veggie burgers, edamame, lima beans, peas, corn, vegan sausage... how can they call it that? sausage. I mean, its not." He sighs as he pulls out the veggie burgers. I remind him they're healthier, we have whole wheat buns, and be glad i didn't make lentil burgers.

Just When...

One of my all time favorite songs is by The Weepies, entitled "The World Spins Madly On". The summary of the song is that monumental things happen in your life, as do little minor things, and the everyday world continues to happen around you. You birth a child, the rest of the world still goes to work and gets off at 5 to head home and make dinner. Catastrophic loss hits your family and the sun still rises, awaking the world to 'just another day'. As 'the world spins madly on' its easy to feel a bit lost sometimes. So just when... just when you think no one is thinking of you - whether its during your purest joy, your deepest sorrows, or just another day - remind yourself that someone is always, always thinking of you, even if you don't realize it. Just when you start to feel overwhelmed by the everyday little things that can bombard you, a bright spot opens up, and you are thankful for the friends that surround you, literally or in spirit.

Running errands this week with the kid has been challenging. He's very content and for that i'm thankful but its the juggling that gets me. He, all 14 lbs of him, and his carrier, all 10 lbs of that - weighs me down. Mid week i make my trek to "The Farm" store for locally grown produce. I lug him into the store and place him safely by the veggie stands as I plan to bag up my items. Oops, forgot the cloth bags I swore I would stop forgetting to use! Back to the car. Grab cloth bags, readjust the kid in his carrier, begin shopping - again. After purchasing a few bags worth of produce, I realize, i have too much to carry. Somehow I manage to gather all things, including the kid. Carrying that 24lb bulk on the left and too many bags on the right, I stumble out the door and wham, immediately knock over a beautiful elevated wire handmade rack displaying mums... Ok. No big deal. Deep breath. Just put everything down. Reassemble the display. The kid looks on as I set the rack back up, grasp the mum gatherings to put back in pots. Don't grab too tightly or the mold of the roots will crumble, dirt scattering everywhere. Sigh. Okay, all done, reassembled and almost, well sort of, just like it was. Hands covered in potting soil as I grab my cloth bags and the carrier, stumbling onto the car. Breath. Whew.

Now onto the grocery for the rest... But after my challenge at the last stop, i reason with myself saying, ' We don't really need that now do we? nah... that can wait...' and 'why is that on the list? what does husband need that for?' and other excuses to not really shop. The checkout girl rolls her eyes as I hand over my cloth bags. "They don't fit in the turning bag stand" she states, somehow implying that she can't bag my groceries apparently. Clearly, without proper use of the turning bag stand, its just not possible. O-K. Hm. "Oh, no problem I can do it," I offer. No response. As I begin to pay and move the cart forward, she spots the kid. "Ahh I didn't see the baby!" she exclaims, turning friendly and chipper. "Aww, how old?" "15 weeks," I mumble flashing a brief smile. Now she likes me. Babies bring out the good in folks I guess...

I drive home, hands on the potting soil covered steering wheel, wondering why babies bring such smiles from people. Is it the innocence, and freshness to babies? the new life? the little miracles they are? or the sweet smiles and soft little faces? My little kid ahh... my heart surges love for him, unexplainable, deep love. I think of the daycares we've been touring, in preparation for my return to work. Doomsday is Oct 22 and the thought of leaving him with strangers for entire days is slightly frightening, to say the least. I'm filled with dread thinking of that day. I glance in the backseat, seeing the kid doze in the sunlight.

Pulling into the abandoned neighborhood, I'm reminded all my neighborhood friends are at work and husband will be in class the next two nights, arriving after me and the kid are in bed. A twinge of loneliness hits me. Its been a month since girls ngiht out with my girlfriends. Note to self - start planning this months girls night out before this month is over! Pulling into the driveway, I spot a box on the doorstep. Not expecting anything, I assume husband has ordered something but nope, my name is the addressee!

After lugging in my bags, the baby, and the box, I dig in. Ahh the thoughtfulness of friends. And the timing of its arrival. So Just When... I was having a slightly roughed up day, I'm reminded what great friends I have. How thoughtful they are. And how just when I felt a bit alone, there was someone there, brightening my day. The box made my day - didn't matter what was in it! I then thought of how I can do the same for those I care about...

I'm surrounded now by others who I need to reach out to as well. Someone going thru a divorce. One who lost her daughter to a tragedy. Another returning to work after maternity leave. Someone getting married. A pregnancy. Adoptions. Troubles with children. Through Joys and Sorrows - its always good to feel loved. Whether its someone celebrating your happiness with you or relating to your sadness.

I tell husband of my care package as we prepare to head out another day. We open up the front door to its usual squeak and creak of the door. I'm trying to tell husband of my week, and the package. He half listens as he digs in the closet for something.

"Where is that WD-40?!" he asks. "I had it on the grocery list."

"Oh, i shrug... I think they were out," I lied. We head out for WD-40 and other 'forgotten' grocery items.

"And there it was... the bright spot of my day," i go on telling him. I go on to say how its so nice to know someone was thinking of you and sent a little hello to brighten your day.

'I need to do more of that' I tell him, 'for other people too.'

"Thats nice hon," he says, barely paying attention. "Um, why are our cloth bag handles so dirty?? what have you been buying with these things!?"

My Husband - great companion. Love of my life. Easily distracted.