Monday, September 15, 2008
One of my all time favorite songs is by The Weepies, entitled "The World Spins Madly On". The summary of the song is that monumental things happen in your life, as do little minor things, and the everyday world continues to happen around you. You birth a child, the rest of the world still goes to work and gets off at 5 to head home and make dinner. Catastrophic loss hits your family and the sun still rises, awaking the world to 'just another day'. As 'the world spins madly on' its easy to feel a bit lost sometimes. So just when... just when you think no one is thinking of you - whether its during your purest joy, your deepest sorrows, or just another day - remind yourself that someone is always, always thinking of you, even if you don't realize it. Just when you start to feel overwhelmed by the everyday little things that can bombard you, a bright spot opens up, and you are thankful for the friends that surround you, literally or in spirit.
Running errands this week with the kid has been challenging. He's very content and for that i'm thankful but its the juggling that gets me. He, all 14 lbs of him, and his carrier, all 10 lbs of that - weighs me down. Mid week i make my trek to "The Farm" store for locally grown produce. I lug him into the store and place him safely by the veggie stands as I plan to bag up my items. Oops, forgot the cloth bags I swore I would stop forgetting to use! Back to the car. Grab cloth bags, readjust the kid in his carrier, begin shopping - again. After purchasing a few bags worth of produce, I realize, i have too much to carry. Somehow I manage to gather all things, including the kid. Carrying that 24lb bulk on the left and too many bags on the right, I stumble out the door and wham, immediately knock over a beautiful elevated wire handmade rack displaying mums... Ok. No big deal. Deep breath. Just put everything down. Reassemble the display. The kid looks on as I set the rack back up, grasp the mum gatherings to put back in pots. Don't grab too tightly or the mold of the roots will crumble, dirt scattering everywhere. Sigh. Okay, all done, reassembled and almost, well sort of, just like it was. Hands covered in potting soil as I grab my cloth bags and the carrier, stumbling onto the car. Breath. Whew.
Now onto the grocery for the rest... But after my challenge at the last stop, i reason with myself saying, ' We don't really need that now do we? nah... that can wait...' and 'why is that on the list? what does husband need that for?' and other excuses to not really shop. The checkout girl rolls her eyes as I hand over my cloth bags. "They don't fit in the turning bag stand" she states, somehow implying that she can't bag my groceries apparently. Clearly, without proper use of the turning bag stand, its just not possible. O-K. Hm. "Oh, no problem I can do it," I offer. No response. As I begin to pay and move the cart forward, she spots the kid. "Ahh I didn't see the baby!" she exclaims, turning friendly and chipper. "Aww, how old?" "15 weeks," I mumble flashing a brief smile. Now she likes me. Babies bring out the good in folks I guess...
I drive home, hands on the potting soil covered steering wheel, wondering why babies bring such smiles from people. Is it the innocence, and freshness to babies? the new life? the little miracles they are? or the sweet smiles and soft little faces? My little kid ahh... my heart surges love for him, unexplainable, deep love. I think of the daycares we've been touring, in preparation for my return to work. Doomsday is Oct 22 and the thought of leaving him with strangers for entire days is slightly frightening, to say the least. I'm filled with dread thinking of that day. I glance in the backseat, seeing the kid doze in the sunlight.
Pulling into the abandoned neighborhood, I'm reminded all my neighborhood friends are at work and husband will be in class the next two nights, arriving after me and the kid are in bed. A twinge of loneliness hits me. Its been a month since girls ngiht out with my girlfriends. Note to self - start planning this months girls night out before this month is over! Pulling into the driveway, I spot a box on the doorstep. Not expecting anything, I assume husband has ordered something but nope, my name is the addressee!
After lugging in my bags, the baby, and the box, I dig in. Ahh the thoughtfulness of friends. And the timing of its arrival. So Just When... I was having a slightly roughed up day, I'm reminded what great friends I have. How thoughtful they are. And how just when I felt a bit alone, there was someone there, brightening my day. The box made my day - didn't matter what was in it! I then thought of how I can do the same for those I care about...
I'm surrounded now by others who I need to reach out to as well. Someone going thru a divorce. One who lost her daughter to a tragedy. Another returning to work after maternity leave. Someone getting married. A pregnancy. Adoptions. Troubles with children. Through Joys and Sorrows - its always good to feel loved. Whether its someone celebrating your happiness with you or relating to your sadness.
I tell husband of my care package as we prepare to head out another day. We open up the front door to its usual squeak and creak of the door. I'm trying to tell husband of my week, and the package. He half listens as he digs in the closet for something.
"Where is that WD-40?!" he asks. "I had it on the grocery list."
"Oh, i shrug... I think they were out," I lied. We head out for WD-40 and other 'forgotten' grocery items.
"And there it was... the bright spot of my day," i go on telling him. I go on to say how its so nice to know someone was thinking of you and sent a little hello to brighten your day.
'I need to do more of that' I tell him, 'for other people too.'
"Thats nice hon," he says, barely paying attention. "Um, why are our cloth bag handles so dirty?? what have you been buying with these things!?"
My Husband - great companion. Love of my life. Easily distracted.