Wednesday, March 18, 2009

nothings cookin' and nobody's sleepin'...

"The weatherman said its going to hit 59 degrees tomorrow. And the sun will shine. I hope he's right this time. I want - no Need - him to be right. I'm dying here and sunshine and warmth would both really help me out," I yell to husband whose in the bathroom, hoping he can hear me over the running water, teeth brushing and whatever else he's doing in there.

No response.

Water shuts off.

"Did you hear me?" i ask.

"Yeah," he said.

"OH really. What did i say?" I questioned.

"you said it might hit 59 tomorrow and you Need that. See? I heard ya."

"Did you hear the I'm dying here part?" I quizzed him.

"Huh...?" he raises his eyebrows. "Oh i guess i missed that last part, i was brushing my teeth. I heard the rest of it though."

Well, I sure wouldn't have known you heard me. You didn't say anything."

"Whats to say? You didn't ask me anything," he stated.

"You always do that! Just because I'm not asking you something doesn't mean you don't have to respond to me. It's called conversation. you go back and forth. acknowledging one anothers comments."

"So, you're disappointed, i didn't say 'uh huh' or 'oh', something like that?" he asks.

"Yes. actually, i am. that would have even been sufficient. ya know, just forget it." I turn over to read.

He snuggles up next to me, putting his arm around my side.

"Tell me the i'm dying here part... sorry i missed it but my mouth was full of toothpaste. ok?"

I sighed. We do a lot of sighing around here.

"spring will come. and with spring, maybe some relief from all this... this - crap," he assures me.

"I hope you're right," i said, curling into him, sighing and laying down my book.

Between the hormonal issues of the breastfeeding weaning process, our car's transmission going belly up when we've only owned the thing 4 months, husband being a full time student and a part time employee which means lots of homework and more stress at his work, bills and more bills, now sharing one car for a bit, never feeling like i have enough time in the day, planning a bridal shower, a tree falling in our backyard, and last but not least by ANY means - severe sleep deprivation... lets just say i've been a little stressed. in a fog. tired. stressed. did i say that already?

"I'm trying to manage... I am," i tell him. "sorry i've been... ya know, um, demanding?" wondering if thats the word, he's already nodding, not only agreeing (go figure ha) but telling me its okay.

"Sorry I haven't been cooking. But when ya don't sleep, ya don't cook i guess," and we dozed off, dreaming of a full nights rest.

Last night i didn't exactly cook but i did whip up something. And these days, it counts for cooking. I saw the posting on the Veg News site (their site that i'm addicted to btw) and made the Tuna-Less Sandwiches, less some of the veganaise (it calls for 1 cup, we used between 1/2 and 2/3 cup, which was part NaSoya which is lower cal but a little lower on flavor too, and part Veganaise, and that was plenty!) and we also added some chopped carrots to the mix for extra crunch and some additional veggie power. So easy and so yummy. I packed up one for husbands lunch and one for my own. He even liked it. A real bonus:) And the kid only woke once last night... A Red Sea Miracle if i do say so myself.

I cooked. The kid slept. Landmark events. Spring is almost here. I see some hope out there in the distant distant end of the long dark tunnel called winter.