Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Monday, my lunch got pushed so far back in the work fridge, that by noon it was half frozen. I had to sit out in the sun staring at my delicious quinoa feta salad, till it thawed. No big deal... things happen I tell myself. No big deal...

Tuesday, I took another salad. At noon, I go to the before mentioned work fridge, get out salad, and search for dressing. I placed a bottle of dressing there two weeks ago for exactly this occasion. I fumble past soda cans, coffee creamer, year old mustard - no dressing! Who does this? Mess with other peoples stuff in the fridge? Someone who had a HUGE salad and needed my entire bottle? Someone who just thought it looked good and took it home to test? Someone who thought it was old (it wasn't) and tossed it out? Sigh. Anyway, I ate my salad plain - ugh. Not recommended.

Today (Wednesday), I take a salad again (yes, i should have known better) with the dressing already poured on. Definitely not recommended. Soggy lettuce for lunch - again, ugh. I just had to laugh - and its exactly what i did while shoving down the soggy ceasar soaked lettuce leaves. This made yesterdays plain salad seem like a good idea. Note to self - don't take salad for lunch. Take a sandwich, a frozen dinner, anything but salad!! Tomorrow, I think I'll go out for lunch.

Monday, August 27, 2007


"I just don't feel productive, challenged, or useful!" I say to Husband. "At the end of the day, I have learned nothing new! I'm bored. It's such a long day there..." All this in reference to my current job. I'm finally pursuing the dream job via 2 more years of school but currently am required to have A job so - there I am, a Logistician, for the Dept of Defense no less. Sounds fascinating doesn't it? Ehhh, not so much.

"Look things up on the internet," says Husband. "Surf the web! I love to do that at work. What a timepasser huh?" Sigh. "I do! But there is only so much surfing I can do in a 10 hour day, honestly. There just isn't that much I'm dying to look up online - to fill 10 hours that is. Okay, more like 7 hours. I do work for at least 3 hours per day, on average," I tell husband.

I plugged through college courses with visuals of being a incredible career woman, working in some social work aspect, saving the world, the mentally ill, their children, and many other groups of those who needed 'help'. Ahhh what naïve dreams...

Husband wasn't thrilled with the move to Philly. Being a 'Pittsburghian' (is this a word? Doubt it, but it fits him), I wonder if he just felt an obligation to that side of the state? Or perhaps it was the sting operation he witnessed on my interview day? From the vehicle, while waiting on me on Ridge Avenue, he was probably seeking a nap but was abruptly interrupted as undercover policemen surrounded the vehicle and literally pounce on a male passerby. Turns out, he had robbed a bank not that far away and not that long ago. Interview over - I return to vehicle. Feeling elated from a great interview and a job that pays well enough, I return saying, "this could be a real opportunity!" where he then replied "no way in hell are you gonna work here".

So, obviously we moved to Philadelphia and I worked 'There'. Due to that not so great experience on interview day, we did not however move into the city. We became suburbians, commuters, traffic-haters. Let me back up - I said We. ReallyI meant 'I'. I commute into the city. I am a traffic-hater. I have an 1.5 hour commute. We live in the suburbs. Husband works in the suburbs. Lucky Husband!

I worked 4 years 'There' by moving from Interpreter, to Case Manager aka Social Worker/ Counselor, and onto Supervisor. In the end, I do not believe I saved the world, much less one mentally ill person, any children, or other deaf individuals. And what does it exactly mean to 'save' someone? I realized thru my experiences, 'saving'someone just isn't possible. You can provide them only with tools in which to save themselves. The last year there was something I should never have put myself thru. I should have quit from the moment I woke up feeling ill at the thought of going in to work. Why, self, did you not just quit!? Moving on.

Finally the Government opportunity. The job is really not bad at all. ButI don't want to say that - I want to say "I like my job! Wow, what a day! I did so much! The day just flew by!" I'm not even asking to love my job, just like. But again its really not that bad. There are some fabulous perks - great insurance, a 4 day work week, flex hours, guaranteed pay raises, paying for grad school (part of it anyway), a day care onsite (and in another post, for those of you shocked at my mention of a day care, I'll give you more info on this topic that involves the word 'child'), and so many more perks to name yet, I work to remain grateful for them. Husband says "man, I wish my job had that stuff. You're lucky." I know I know. A girl can't help how she feels though, right?

I now know what I really want to do - thank you Lord. I miss math, numbers, calculations. I move forward to 'Goal'. Stick it out till next August. Then will have two years of government service. Almost done with my Masters in Accounting. Maybe a child on the way?? Friends (or others?), please do not send me emails asking if I have fallen ill or if some stranger has taken over my blog at the child comment. No and No to both of these. Until then, I go to work, work, clock watch till lunch break, eat, read, return to desk, repeat. But like I said, its really not that bad.

All of these points come out in dinner conversation. Husband must be tired of this dominating mealtime chatter, I'm sure of it. "Hey, will you watch Jeopardy with me? Really watch it with me too, you know what I mean." Meaning I normally read a magazine while he plays/watches Jeopardy on his own. "Sure" I say while thinking 'that damn show, ugh'. He dashes his dishes to the sink and body into the living room. The things I do for husband.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


I've been reading blogs by authors I love and also my friends. I've been reading blogs of people who I barely know and those that probably don't even know me. I myself, have never blogged. I love to read. I love to journal. But I am by no means, a 'Writer'. So, the idea of blogging all my general day to day activities in a way which makes them sound actually interesting - no way. Blogging all my various opinions, goals, and aspirations for my life and the world in a way that would make sense - impossible. Many blog writings are addicting for me because they are a short story that eventually turns into a novel, and I just can't 'put it down' errr meaning, I can't look away from the cpu screen.

Today in the midst of trying to prepare for yet another week of work, another week of school, another week of life - I was thinking I need a way to get my feelings out. Put my thoughts down. Vent. Express. So, I came home from the hellish grocery shopping and created my very own blog. Yes, I have given in to this century's version of a public journal. When I was little, I wanted a little diary with very small lines on a page, a pink pen to write my innermost thoughts down in that little book and then the key to lock away all my words and keep them very private and close. But these days, it doesn't work that way. I like this version better. I perceive that to be more of who I am. A very open person. Thefore, I'm going to present my life as it is and my opinions as they are. I won't work to make it interesting or ensure it will make sense.